Friday, May 1, 2015

Taco Bell Breakfast Biscuit Tacos

So, uh...

We haven't had a review in a while. That might be due to the fact that all 3 contributors are extremely busy with life, marriage, new jobs, and whatever other excuses we want to drum up.

It could also be because it seems fast food has really levelled off. The market is over saturated with everyone rolling out the same old items rebranded with a different name, or an added sauce.

Well, we're back and this time it’s because Taco Bell has decided to push the limits gut busting fast food once again. They are calling on you (or us) to be "Breakfast Defectors". They are urging us to break loose from the chains of traditional breakfast's served on english muffins, or with a side of hash browns. They are sliding that hashbrown into your breakfast wrap, pannini pressing that sh*t, and calling it an AM Crunchwrap (ironically mine had very little crunch). They are taking that biscuit you love to eat alone, shaping it into a taco, slapping some breakfast meat in there, sprinkling it with cheese, and marketing it to fellow recovering breakfast meat addicts like myself.

Naturally, there is a Taco Bell smack dab in the middle of my AM pick up hockey skate and my place of employment. So it was only a matter of time until I succumb to the urge of consuming 1000 calories in 10 minutes and spending my Friday agonizing with regret like a Seahawk's fan post Superbowl XLIX, except this time I'll be Marshawn Lynch, and I will be running, but not with a football and not to the endzone.

Taco Bell Biscuit Taco (Sausage)

Let me preface this review by saying that I think by waiting too long to try these items after their release, I over hyped them in my mind, and was fooled by all the late night propaganda infilitrating my fat kid mind. In short, my expectations were sky high. I should have been wary and cognizant of my prior encounters with a Taco Bell gimmick item, and known that if its too good to be true, it likely is.

I arrived at work, cast my belongings astray, and assumed the position to devour this little treasure trove of taco tastiness.

Once unsheathed, it became quite clear that this thing should have been called the Biscuit Taquito. The size of this thing was quite small. As you can see by the picture, I felt like Sherman Clump eating a stolen turkey leg

Two bites in, no stomach ache yet, but I was a little off put at how dry the biscuit was, and how hard it was to breathe as I struggled to swallow each bite. The sausage had good flavor, but the eggs and cheese were nothing to write home about. I slammed down my first one and prepped for the next one of bacon variety.

Round 2: Same result. Dry biscuit, barely melted cheese, except this thing was sprinkled with tiny bits of bacon (I think), and for the first time in history I was a off put by the consistency of bacon. It seemed to be flavored artificially, and was chopped up into tiny pieces like a Dahmer victim.
Smattered inbetween the egg and half melted cheese, and stuffed into the biscuit taco (drywall taco).

Three quick bites and I had reached the apex of Mount Breakfast. I was the Yasiel Puig of Breakfast Defectors, except there was no million dollar contract on the other side, just lots of disappointment.

Biscuit Taco (Sausage): B-

Biscuit Taco (Bacon): C

Friday, October 31, 2014

Wendy's BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwich [Review]

Craft BBQ has been hitting the national scene recently, with enthusiasts becoming as prevalent as those annoying beer snobs looking over your shoulder at the bars.  With Arby's claiming that they smoke their brisket longer than a double overtime shift at the local mill, it seems that the fast food industry is getting serious about BBQ.  Enters the pig tailed Wendy's chain, who is in a huge transition from fast food burger joint to fast casual premium priced eatery.  

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Dunkin' Donuts Unveil Hybrid Croissant Donut

Starting on November 3rd, Dunkin Donuts will take a cue from Halloween and create a franken-donut creation by introducing the Croissant Donut.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Taco Bell Releases Updated App with Mobile Ordering

Today, in one of the most anticipated events known to man, Taco Bell updated their mobile apps to allow mobile ordering.  From the app, a drunken stupor can lead to a 4th Meal extravaganza with barely any effort and little human interaction.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger [Review]

With the gourmet burger craze sweeping the country, it was only a matter of time before one of the big chains offered their take on a "pub" burger.  While McDonald's scrapped their premium priced Angus burgers recently, Wendy's is going in the opposite direction with an LTO burger that comes in right around $5.  The Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger features an artisan baked pretzel bun, a 1/4 pound burger, cheddar cheese served in not only slice form, but also sauce form, bacon, red onion, tomato, spring mix, and the sweet & smoky honey mustard sauce that was used on the Grilled Chicken Flatbreads.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Wendy's Set to Release Highly Anticipated Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger [Report]

After an extremely successful testing phase in the spring, Wendy's is set to release the Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger nationwide the next two weeks.  Featuring an artisan crafted pretzel bun, a Dave's Hot n' Juicy 1/4 pound burger, not only a slice of warm cheddar cheese, but also a nice smattering of warm cheddar cheese sauce as well, and then rounded out with Wendy's new spring mix, red onion, tomato, bacon, and Sweet & Smoky Honey Mustard, this burger is bound to push the limits on flavor layers.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Say Goodbye: McDonald's to Drop the Angus Third Pounders [Report]

After 4 years, the premium Angus Third Pounder Burger line at McDonald's been exiled to the land of misfit toys.  After deliberating the last 3 months, McDonald's will drop the burgers nationwide and add onto the Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese line according to Burger Business.

Arby's King's Hawaiian Roast Beef and Swiss [Review]

Arby's sandwiches are based on simplicity. Typically one or two ingredients are part of their roast beef sandwiches, with maybe an onion flavored bun to go along.  So whenever a chief element, such as the bun is altered drastically, it's definitely worth noting.  Enter the new King's Hawaiian Roast Beef and Swiss Sandwich.  On a sweet King's Hawaiian bun, a loaded amount of roast beef is accompanied by sweet pickles, swiss cheese, and Djion sauce.  Fairly radical for Arby's, but how does it stack up?